Meet Tony Gosling.. Journalist, researcher and the man behind the website www.bilderberg.org.
An easy listening podcast this week as I take a mini tour round the Outdoor Show hosted at the NEC in Birmingham England. We talk Bushcraft, walking, animal tracking and generally how to get out and enjoy the natural environment around you.
Dear Citizens of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of Your Independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: (You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
1. Look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without Skipping half the letters and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) -roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 21% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily tea time begins promptly at 4 PM with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Sincerely,
The people of Britain
Eavesdrop on three people in a very noisy pub. All podcasters, one the voice of the toaster from Red Dwarf, another who wishes to remain anonymous. Through differing opinions, we talk about podcasting and the corporations, politics, spiritual truth and the shadowy figures that may, or may not fashion the societies we live in.I know it has been a while since my last podcast and thank you to those that are still subscribed and listening. This one, although recorded late last year, is something I really wanted to put out there as it was not planned and happened on the fly over a couple of beers with new found friends.Listen to the podcast here. Or subscribe free of charge by searching for documentally.com in itunes.
When i found the recording still on my digital recorder stuffed in a plastic bag, in a box, under a pile of stored junk, I just had to stick it in a podcast straight away. What you hear at the beginning of the podcast is the moment i found my recorder.
It was a very noisy and packed pub but with headphones on, I feel the background will fade to a familiar murmur as you too have a drink and join in the discussion.
I hope you will agree that although this recording is a couple of months old, it is still valid and though things have moved on a little politically, the undercurrents are still swirling the same way.
Please feel free to leave comments below. It's always great to hear from you.
Enjoy.
Meet Mark Thomas. Comedian, protester, activist and now author.
We crossed into Iraq from Turkey, over the internationally recognised border, moving from the fringes of Europe to the Middle East. But southern Turkey is a Kurdish area, and so is northern Iraq. Ask any Kurd and they'll say you've been in the same country all along; Kurdistan.....
'The Voice of the people'.
Including England this is only sixty six out of approximately 335 recognized countries and territories so although I am amazed how many people in far off places have found me, it could still be a while before I proclaim a world wide listenership. :)
Chasing Rainbows - Mi Projekt
Imagine fueling your car whilst bypassing the oil companies and being more environmentally frendly at the same time. Sound too good to be true.
Pamela Icke, David's wife says a few words introduction about the plight David is currently in and the rest of this podcast is another quality hour taken from David Icke's Brixton Talk.
David Icke, former sportsman, commentator and now, professional researcher travelling the world giving talks and writing books on who and what is really controlling our world.
Recently I have been getting away from it all.
And as I said, the featured song is 'Sail Away' by Dr Sparkles.
Not an anti war protester but a peace campaigner. Meet Brian Haw, A hobo hero that demands you listen to what he has to say.
People have been picking locks since the invention of the chastity belt.
